So, on the 16th of December Frankie L. Meza was sentenced for murdering my cousin Matt. I was ill and unable to attend the hearing, but I was reading an article about what transpired and I am floored.

On the one hand, she was punished and she will be spending a chunk of her future in jail. She will serve almost 7 years in prison, and her sentences were put consecutively so she will serve each of them before the next will start. I do not feel like any measure of time will ever be enough to make up for the pain and loss that she makes us all feel on a daily basis. But I am glad she will have to live the rest of her life being constantly reminded of the life she stole from Matt.

Frankie did not plead guilty to the crimes which she committed, she put off the trial starting several times so she could hire this investigator or that one to try and find a loophole to keep her from punishment. In an article from The Leavenworth Times the following are statements made by Frankie, her husband and brother, as well as her attorney;

“When given the opportunity to speak, Meza said she’s never been more sorry about anything in her life.

“I’m truly, truly sorry,” she said.

Her husband, Robert, also spoke.

“She feels this horror every day, every night,” he said.

He asked the Groves family to forgive his wife.

Meza’s brother also spoke, saying his sister cries every day.

Meza’s attorney, Charles Ball, had filed a motion seeking to have Meza placed on probation and entered into a treatment program. He said his client has been engaged in counseling.

Ball said Meza will never forget what happened and always will be sentenced to a maximum security prison in her own mind.

Deputy County Attorney John Bryant argued against Meza being placed on probation.

He said she’d received a diversion in 2000 for a DUI but had repeated the offense this year, resulting in the crash.

Bryant said he believed placing Meza on probation could jeopardize the community.

Sundby said he found there was not a substantial or compelling reason to depart from the state’s sentencing guidelines.

He sentenced Meza to 41 months for the manslaughter charge, which was considered the standard sentence under the state guidelines.”

She cries every day?!? She will NEVER FORGET what happened?!? She is truly, truly sorry?!? If she was truely suffering the despair due to her actions, if she really felt any remorse, she would have pled “Guilty” instead of “No Contest”. She was saying; I can’t fiind a way out of being convicted, so I will let you decide what punishment I get. She murdered a man and she thought probation would be punishment enough. That the “memory of what she did was already sentencing her to prison in her mind”…well if she drinks to point of not knowing what she is doing, how will she be able to remember what she has done?!?

2012 is in its 2nd week, and I have high hopes that with a new year comes more good than bad. I’m not making a resolution this year…I won’t make myself a promise I may not be able to keep. I am gonna try to start over mentally, I am hopeful …things seem better.

If only I could mute my neighbors, maybe that could be my resolution next year *thinks*?!?

I have loved the process of cooking since I was 5 or 6 years old. I remember watching my grandma cook, her letting me stir or put things in the oven. Then when I was in middle/high school and I took different Foods classes…I absolutely fell in love! I even took over the cooking for my family when I was about 14. My mom didn’t like to cook and so she pretty much turned the kitchen over to me.

I have worked in professional kitchens in just about every position (sous chef, prep chef, chef de cuisine…etc.), I have worked gourmet food shops, worked in schools (planning menus, purchasing, serving) both as a cook and manager and have run a private catering service. I hung up my apron with much sadness 4 or so years ago. Unfortunately…my muscular dystrophy made it unbearable to do that physical of a job.

As a female, immersing myself in a male dominated profession I have experienced the best and worse of male behavior in the kitchens. I do have big name chefs that I have loved and respected most of my life, both male and female.

I am sitting here watching the TV show “Chopped All Stars” and in the final round it came down to Chef Aaron Sanchez and Chef Nate Appleman…one of the judges was Chef Marcus Samuelson (he won TopChef Masters the 2nd season). I have to say,Chefs Samuelson and Appleman are everything that is bad about male chefs. Are they talented…yes! But they are cocky, snarky, mean spirited, arrogant, and very rude! I feel that they give the whole profession a bad name. I hate to watch them, I don’t want to see them succeed, and I hope they will just go away!

I love everything else about this show, but it really makes me sad that this asshole (Appleman) won…if the money didn’t go to charity I would probably be done with the show as a whole. But it is hard to get angry with a charity getting much needed funds!

Honey very rarely gets sick. When he does get sick, he is able to go to sleep and stay there for 24 hours. At the end of 24 hours or so he usually feels much better. Sometimes he still has a bit of a cough, but for the most part he feels ok. He is also a HUGE baby when he is sick.

If Kiddo or I get sick his 1st and only line when he finds out is “Don’t give it to me!” (not “I’m sorry to hear that.” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”). So when I found out Honey was feeling icky…I said that to him. Half joking around, and then I took care of him.

Xmas eve after dinner I was feeling crappy. But it wasn’t anything as bad as Honey’s cold. So I thought I had a milder version of the cold. Fast forward to Xmas day around noon, Kiddo isn’t doing very well. She has a red rudolph little nose and is coughing and just very restless. We are at Honey’s families xmas get together, and I have her go and lay down. We get home and she goes right to bed. Honey has the potamus over to play video games (potamous is a friend’s nickname) and I am feeling gradually worse and worse.

By the time I woke up the next morning, I can hardly breathe, it hurts very bad to swallow, and I hurt everywhere. Damn you Honey! Not only do I have to take care of myself while feeling sick, I have to care for a sick Kiddo!!! Luckily she actually wants to spend her day in bed. So that hasn’t been so bad, but I think I was hit by a truck sometime in the last 24 hours…did anyone get the license number?!?

I haven’t had a bad cold in almost 6 years…maybe I will get over it fast like Honey did. I can hope.

Of my damn noisy neighbors!!!

So the holiday season is in full swing and the mad dash to get gifts, groceries, and other assorted goodies is well underway. I am having a hard time feeling the “holiday spirit” this year. We have had a train wreck in 2011. Frankly, I will be very happy to say goodbye on 12-31-11 @2400!!! Some days I dont know how we are still standing.

I am, however, very thankful for Honey and the Kiddo…if I didn’t have them…let’s just say its a very good thing I do have such a wonderful family!

My friend is fighting for her life against a very stubborn cancer and she is undergoing an aggressive chemo line up. I know she is strong and very brave, but I worry about her all the time. She will celebrate her 1st anniversary in January…6 days after her 34th birthday. I am hoping so strongly that she will see her 2nd anniversary and 35th bday. But I do believe it is one day at a time right now. She isn’t reacting well to her chemo, but it is her only chance at fighting.

My puppy (who left us in July) was diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and she lasted until this year (no chemo for her though). If LeeLee could fight that long, I have no doubt Bird can.

The Kiddo is driving me slightly crazy. I have to keep her from getting suspended (not cause she has behavior probs…she just very lazy!). She is so scatterbrained and forgetful. I wish I could figure out how to help her through this. But if she has 2 more “incidents” then we have to pay $90 for a sub to sit with her for a day and she will lose credit for all the work from that day! Just what a struggling student needs.

We have lost friends and family members this year as well. I miss them so much…especially during this time of year.

Bring on the new year and hopefully with it will come some peace and happiness. And if it doesn’t…The Mayan calendar is set to end in December I believe. Let it burn baby!!!

So today is my Honey’s birthday. He has choosen to already receive his gift, but I couldnt stop myself from celebrating just a little bit. He has yet to discover this…but I decorated Stella!!! I put “Happy Birthday” banners on both sides of her (you see her coming and going) and put stickers on the windows…hee hee. I also gave him a button to wear to work today that looks like a blue ribbon award but it is transformers themed. He’d better wear it too! I will fight dirty on that one (not that I dont normally *wink*)!!!

Honey…I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love you very much and am very glad you are in love with me too!

After a handful of hours sleep (gotta be nice and tired tonight cause I will be sleeping alone), we are up and working hard on Thanksgiving lunch. Now normally lunch would be between 1pm-230pm but this year due to the BuyMore being a bunch of greedy assholes, we have to eat before noon. I am (as always) doing waay to much…but am enjoying every minute of it. Even though I am paying the price physically, I wouldn’t do it any differently. I really hope everything turns out good.

I brined my turkey this year, 1st time I tried this technique. I am hoping I rinsed it well enough to prevent my beautiful bird (organic, free range, hormone free 14lb. bird) from tasting salty…I am really worried bout that, but at this point it is too late. It will be what it will be (hopefully that will be DELICIOUS!).

My family “forgot” to invite us to their dinner (not that we could attend with Honey needing to be in bed so early in the day). I find that a bit funny. Oh well, I’m still thankful for them.

There have been people lined up at the BuyMore since yesterday afternoon. Can you believe that?!? How much money do they honestly believe they will save? Is their time not worth anything to them? They will spend their turkey time outside in a store parking lot camping rather than around the table with their loved ones. I saving a hundred dollars or so that big a deal? They could probably get the same deal, if not a better one, online on “Cyber-Monday”. And not have to spend over 24 hours camping out. Idiots!

I hope everyone enjoys their day with their friends and family. Be safe and remember not to drink and drive. It is never worth the risk…no matter how “quick” the drive!!!

Happy turkey day to all…and to all a good night!

I am a person who enjoys a good deal on Black Friday as much as the next person. But I am finding myself conflicted over the course the holiday is taking this year. On the one hand, I have the unfortunate experience of having the money generated (from robbing of me of the holiday) the only income benefiting my family. And at the same time, I feel myself pulled toward the grassroots campaign to keep the day to Friday ONLY!!!
It is difficult to do what I feel is right, when that could hurt Honey. He is having to show up for work at 11pm on Thursday and work till 11am on Friday…but in order to be any good for a 12hr shift starting at midnight he will need to be in bed by 2pm! So we can have a very early Thanksgiving lunch, a brunch or breakfast. The good thing being this year it will just be 3 of us here at my house (Kiddo will be with father). So I can pretty much write the script on how this will go for us, but it sucks to have such a constraint to the day.

The food nerd in me has already got my menu planned, and I have got a way to try and cook my turkey faster. I’m even gonna try and brine the bird…moisture and flavor all in one. I’m looking forward to playing with it. I haven’t gotten to make a single dish for the holidays in almost 5 years!!!

Whatever good or bad comes out of the day it is a special day to enjoy family and friends and be thankful for the blessings in one’s life.

In the news, hardly a day goes by without some news as to the goings on in the search for baby Lisa Irwin. And the most recent news is that the parents have become the main (or possibly only) suspects in her disappearance. With the dogs catching the scent of human decay in the walls of the family home it looks like this case will not have a happy ending. I think I will refer to this problem as “The Casey Anthony effect”. Due to the fact that That bitch was able to get away with murder, more parents who would maybe have paused before acting in such a permanent and cruel fashion, now think they can get away with murder as well.

Now with the Safe Haven laws that all states have, it is possible to get your newborns to a safe place and walk away with no fear of repercussions. But in the state of Nebraska (my neighbor to the north)…ANY child can be left at a hospital. It has happened that people have dropped off their teenagers and driven away. In one instance a father dropped off his entire family (9 kids from age 1 to 17) at a hospital. The Nebraska legislators are calling an emergency session to put an amendment to the law in effect as of the November ballot. But the real question for me is…will this mean that those children could now face a worse fate? Is abuse, neglect and even murder in their future? Instead of making it illegal to abandon them, why do we not provide counseling for the families and further assistance before it gets to that place?!?

As a mother, I know what it feels like to doubt your abilities as a parent, and to get frustrated with your child. But I also have no idea how a person can get to the point of wanting to abandon or even harm their child. Maybe with only having one child, and being in a supportive relationship with a spouse I am never gonna have to know those feelings. But having over a decade of motherhood behind me, I haven’t once in all that time felt like being without my child would make me happy. I have never once harmed my child (not even a spanking), and would hurt myself before I ever put a finger on my child.

As a person who was harmed by adults, I am very curious why some people choose that route. Comparatively to some I had it very easy, but to others, my life seemed rough. Even with the experiences I have had I would say I am lucky. I have people in my life who love me, and I have a good and happy life.

It is so important to know that you can decide to be better. We have to do better for our children…teach them how to do better for themselves. Instead we make it easier for those who would do harm to the most defenseless and innocent victims. At this point in our evolution we should not be going in reverse, and yet the more time passes the worse humanity seems.

Agreeing with HIM is inexcusable! You are supposed to be on HER side! You know how he can be, says different things to fit his mood. I really think you need to reevaluate your decision making processes. Think of how this must feel to her, can you do that? Better to not tie yourself to a sinking ship.

Super excited for the Janet Evanovich movie that is coming out in January One For The Money. It looks like it will be good. Katherine Heigel is set to star as Stephanie Plum and I think she is a pretty good person for the role. Supposedly Reese Witherspoon was up for the role and declined it. I love her, but cannot for the life of me, see her in that role. She was gorgeous as June Carter Cash in walk the line. She doesn’t scream brunette Jersey girl to me! Katie Heigel seems to be made for this part however.

As a resident in the state of Kansas I am sad to learn that Topeka(the capital of my state) will no longer charge people for Domestic Battery. That is happening because they claim they no longer have the money to pay for the prosecution. They did this in the hopes of the cases being taken over by Shawnee County District Attorney. When the district attorney took over these cases, they claimed it cost them too much as well. So if you beat your family in my state…completely legal!

As someone who has seen the damaging effects of domestic violence I am very worried about this. If there is no consequences for beating the shit out of those you love, more and more of people are going to end up in hospitals and in the morgue. I can’t cuss in front of a stranger without the risk of being charged with something, but taking out my bad mood on the folks who live me…perfectly ok! I am so scared for the way this is heading.

I have never once been ashamed of the place I come from, but now I don’t know if I can say that.