I was noticing earlier that i had 10 voicemails…so i started listening to them. in the midst of all these messages there is one from the osawatomie police department…ok, now it had my attention…they found my ex-husbands cat,Jenny. she normally travels with him in his truck, but she escaped like two or three weeks ago and he couldnt catch her. well they left me a message like 10 days ago so i am fearing she has been adopted,but i dont know (when i called to see if they had her the animal control guy wasnt there and the cop on duty said she wasnt on the list.) the animal man will be in after 8 this morning, so i called my ex and told him and i think we will both be calling down there today to see if she is still there.

Ami has been very upset about this whole thing,she has broke down more than once bout her sadness over Jenny’s disappearrance. then over her sadness that she may have been adopted out by someone else. i keep telling her at least we know now she is alive and that she didnt get eaten or run over by a car…or any number of other things that could have happened to a pampered pet that is suddenly forced to fend for itself.

Boy,the numbers on the clock sure are moving slow!!! i am so anxious to know if they have here there…what sucks is that if they dont have her there,i will be the one to break it to her and then have to comfort her all over again. that will suck!

well, update!

she’s dead…they put her to sleep cause i didnt check my messages. that’s what i get! dont know if im gonna tell ami the whole truth or not yet…i havent ever lied to her! i just dont know if i can tell her the truth. i already hate myself…i couldnt bear for her to hate me too! but im sure her father will let her know its all my fault. i was so happy last night, i should have never told ami till i knew where the cat was and that she was alive and on her way back home. Ami’s pain is my fault,christopher’s pain is my fault, Jenny’s death is my fault, i even managed to devastate my honey too during all of this (he didnt know jenny, but it happened 2day so it can be tied in)! I am a one woman wrecking ball,dont come near me or I will wreck your chances of ever being happy…it is one of the only things i’m good at.